An Ordinary Week...

An ordinary week has passed. The weather can’t decide what to do! Sometimes sunshine, and sometimes, thunderous rain. Spring is definitely on the move with new growth on the roses and spring bulbs popping up in the garden.

There has been much in the papers about NZ’s horrific child abuse statistics. The little girl, Nina Glaisse, has since died, her family and doctors turning off the life support last Friday.

To be honest I have avoided reading much of this information as it turns my stomach, depresses me and also makes me very angry My friend, has posted on this topic as well as domestic violence. She is much more adept than I at making such comments. I will simply put her link in this posting.

I am not a political commentator or researcher either, so my blog will mostly be about my view of things, shallow or not! I would say however, that voting next year will not be an easy task. All politicians have jumped on the bandwagon of domestic violence, child abuse etc, flailing their arms about and moving hot air in all directions. I guess it is politically beneficial to make loud noises while avoiding the breakdown of social structures, about which maybe they could do something, if they stopped flailing their arms about reactively. I have not been impressed with any of the spokespersons so far.

It is a red herring to pull out the “culture” blame sticks, though both Maori and Pakeha groups have done so. To many it is a “Maori” or “Pacific Island” problem. This is as a result of the huge publicity generated by such high public interest cases as that of Nia Glaisse, involving a Maori whanau. That makes it easier if you are neither a Maori or Pacific Islander, to stand back and criticize and to flail your arms about. Some Maori have also claimed it as a “Maori” problem, and called on their people to work together to stop this cycle of abuse and violence.

To me, this claiming of the problem by any particular group, usually at the exclusion of the other group, simply causes further divides and does not address the issues or provide any solutions. There is too much time spent working out whose problem it is.

I would argue that it is everyone’s problem. That it has perhaps more of a socioeconomic grounding than a cultural grounding. Families with few social skills, limited education or support structures melt down to some unimaginable place where not one person steps up to protect a child. Families where drug and alcohol abuse are the norm, where gang affiliations are common, pick on their weakest and most vulnerable members. Such families are not restricted to one culturally defined group.

The truth is that no matter what the circumstances, there is no excuse for this abhorrent behaviour. No excuse is acceptable for the reign of terror and torture this child suffered.

If as a society, there is not one person who will step up to protect a child suffering extended periods of torture and ultimately death at the hands of “family” then we have made some drastically flawed decisions about the way we want our country to run. In most of these cases, the child has not been isolated alone with one person. There have been plenty of family members within the “family circle”. It is not just one mad, crazed step dad, cousin or mother. It is a collective non action by many, many family members with not one person stepping up to protect the child.

If there is not one government agency sufficiently funded to monitor and act for the welfare of our young people, there is something drastically wrong. Our money is being spent on the wrong things.

I can hear you screaming, yes but everyone knows not to treat a child this way. Well, obviously they don’t. It happens too frequently for it to be a glitch on the radar.

Ultimately a society defines its own boundaries. That these types of murders occur is an indictment on our society. Yes, we can say the people who inflicted this life of torture and abuse are responsible, even responsible alone. We can wash our hands of it knowing that we would never do any such thing. Knowing that we would leap in front of a car to save a child, or tackle a mad dog to snatch a child from its jaws.

But and there is a but, there is a collective responsibility whether this be through the wider local community, neighbours, schools, our legislation, our punishment for such crimes. Something is missing.

As a society we have the ability to modify and change our boundaries. It should not all be downhill. We, collectively, need to make it unacceptable for any more children to die in this horrendous way, at the hands of their family.

I guess because it is a “hidden” problem in that abuse takes place in the home environment it is easier to ignore until it is too late, until pictures of broken little bodies become the “story” of the day.

Those who see, hear or know what is happening must step up, must intervene no matter the colour of their skin or ethnic origins. The justice system then needs to have the teeth to make the consequences so severe that they outweigh whatever cheap thrills and power trip the abusers, murders “enjoy”.

By contrast with all of the above HB & I had a visit from J&G, with J and their new baby A. He was 14 days old at that time. He was fast asleep, and stayed asleep for the hour or so they visited. We both got to hold him and still he slept, content and safe in his world.

His big brother loves him and wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be left behind when they made their move to go home.

As I held him to me, I could not imagine how anyone could hurt a baby. As I looked at his big brother running around, “playing” our piano, (where were my work earmuffs!!!) laughing listening to his mum and dad, again the thought of how the hell could someone torture and maim a child or a baby struck me so deeply that I ached.


All I know is that each baby, each child deserves to be loved and nurtured. Deserves a chance to grow up, to make their own lives as they see fit. How dare anyone take that away.

Child torturers, murderers, abusers or terrorists - I see no difference. They think they have a right to take a life, whether slowly and tortuously, whether by lack of care and neglect or suddenly with a suicide bomb. They think they have a right whether it be a planned action or an abysmal lack of action and reasoning, to maim and murder.

How dare they.

How dare we allow them to do so.

Arohanui
KG